


Among the blind

by wardrums



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is Not What He Seems, M/M, OR IS HE, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Supernatural Elements, dipper isn't a team player sometimes, inspired by the show the blindspot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wardrums/pseuds/wardrums
Summary: A tattooed man with no memory  of his past is found in a bag in Portland Oregon.FBI agent Dipper Pines finds himself part of the task force dealing with the case.I think we all know where this is going.





	1. Perfectly normal.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is a new AU I've been itching to write about. It might be slow to update but trust me this should be a wild ride.

_Portland Oregon, USA, 2025, Mid-June._

It was a warm night in Portland.

The bars and restaurants were full of people looking for a cold drink or a delicious meal.

People took brisk nightly walks, admiring the nightlife that was around them.

Parents reminded their kids that just because school was over did not mean they should be up at all hours.

In a way, it was a perfectly normal night.

Among those who were enjoying this perfectly normalness was a police officer. His name was Logan Wood and he was already having a very uneventful beat, for the most part he was happy about this. While he joined the force due to a desire to fulfill his childhood dream of being like Batman or his grandfather (Who was once a beloved sheriff in some middle of nowhere tourist trap.) He did have to admit that sometimes it was to have a night where nothing happened than a night where everything happened. 

As he walked and considered maybe getting a snack, he noticed that was not normal.

It was a worn out yellow duffle bag just randomly on the sidewalk. 

At first he wanted to call it in and get everyone within radius out of here.

But then he took a deep breath and recalled his training. 

“Do you know whose bag this is, ma’am?’” He asked a woman in her twenties who was walking her bulldog, he pointed to the bag as he did so.

“Um no?” She said as she walked away, her bulldog strangely quickening its waddling pace upon seeing the bag.

Okay, Logan…one person not knowing about the bag does not mean it’s a bomb. He told himself.

“Sir, do you know whose bag this is?” He asked, a man in his fifties who was a bit overdressed.

“No.” He said sullenly, eyeing the bag and suddenly feeling like he should call his husband. 

Sweat started to pour down Officer Wood’s brow. That didn’t mean it was a bomb, he had to remind himself. 

“Excuse me, is this yours?” He asked to a family that just about to cross the street. They also said no.

Officer Wood gulped.

With a deep breath, he went over the yellow duffle bag, feeling the bag was staring him down with sickly sinister seemingly yellow color. There was no sign of a brand name nor was an embroiled name on it. All there was, was a tag. The tag was black, one side had a creepy looking eyeball symbol and the other had in bold golden letters.  
**Call the FBI.**  
\----  
The streets of downtown Portland were empty.

Even the shops, restaurants, and bars were empty. The workers were told they now had the night off by the bomb squad.

People panicked of course.

Some dropping their bags, others worriedly wondering if this was the start of a new age of terror in the United States of American.

People held their children or loved ones, tightly, trying not give into total panic.

People wondered how this could happen here.

The local media attempted to get information from the police.But were all told to just talk that there would be a press confidence later.

The internet exploded with crazy theories and tasteless acquisitions of other races.  
\---  
Approaching the bag was one lone bomb squad member.

Her name was Willow Burns and she tried not to think about her husband or her two year old as she walked slowly over to the duffle bag with a radiation checker.

“No signs of radiation.” She said into an earpiece, her bomb squad suit feeling tighter than it had been. She kneeled down slowly, far enough not to trigger it but close enough to open it if needed.

“Beginning inspection.” She said as her arm reached to the bag. “Nothing anomalous on the exterior. Okay…I’m going feel for wires.” She said, her fingers twitching from anxiety. 

The bag start to move a little.

“Ah fuck!” She cursed, backing away slightly. “There’s something in there….” Her mind raced. Was this some twisted terrorist plot? An unfunny prank involving a poor cat? She didn’t know…

The zipper started to open a bit.

She got out her gun, gripping to it for dear life.

A tattooed arm came out of the bag. It had olive, and skinny with fingernails that looked clipped and dirty.

The arm opened the rest of the duffle bag.

Stumbling out the bag, like a confused fawn as it took its first steps, was a naked man. He was very tall with a thin body and grimy blond hair that was a bit long, his eyes were hazel and his face reminded Willow of a boy she knew in her childhood, one that run away from abusive parents.

But that was not what shocked Willow, no, what shocked her the most was how the man was nearly covered in tattoos. Tattoos of strange letters, runes and hellish beasts.

The man shivered as he looked around, it was hard to say if he actually knew what was going on. Knowing this and knowing that pointing a gun at a confused naked man might be unwise, she lowered her know and sighed.

“Guys...are you seeing this?” She said into her earpiece.  
\----

_Seward Nebraska._

Miles away from the nearest house or even a gas station, was an old house. The house had been around since the early 1900s. It had survived harsh winters, dust bowls, fires, many families had lived and died in the house but now all it was a collapsing and decaying house that was now the hideout of one Gideon Gleeful.  
Gideon Gleeful was a nice young man.

At least that’s what everyone in the small Oregon town he grew up in said.  
Smart, talented, charming.

All the ladies liked him,

Which is why he killed Karen Stone after their date went badly.

That when he was sixteen years old, he was found guilty and was charged accordingly.

However he soon ‘found God’ and was let go due to good behavior and very naive judge.

Six months later, drug use in his home town skyrocketed.

The police tried to stop him but soon he became too powerful and soon started expanding his ‘empire.’

By the time he was nineteen, he seemed to be controlling the criminal underbelly of Pacific Northwest. He seemed unstoppable. 

That’s when the FBI stepped in.

They had one of the best agents on the job.

Dipper Pines was not that agent. No, he was one of the many field agents that was about help one of the best agents raid Gideon Gleeful hideout.

When Agent McCarthy was assigned to this chase, he approached Dipper first, asking the young man everything he knew about Gleeful. That small town Gleeful had grew up from was the same town Dipper spent many summers exploring the woods. And while Dipper felt a bit used, he took the chance to bring down Gideon. Having always mistrusted and slightly feared the younger man.

So, here he was, awaiting orders from Agent McCarthy alongside with his co-workers, Agent Robert Valentino and Agent Wendy Corduroy and many others. Part of him was happy to be there. For years he had seen what Gideon did to people, his own sister was nearly a victim of Gideon obsessions and caving for power. And yet he almost felt empty. He couldn’t place it exactly but as he stood in front in this collapsing awaiting orders, he wondered this would indeed be the end of Gideon Gleeful.

Wendy nudged him.

It was time to go in.

“Move!” Agent McCarthy said as he stormed into the place. Dipper and his fellow agents going in seconds after. While most of the agents checked the downstairs room for Gideon, found himself going upstairs by himself. The upstairs consisted of a floor full rotten wood and several rooms with broken down doors crawling with insect life.  
With slowness Dipper went towards the first bedroom-which used to be the master bedroom.

“Well, well. If isn’t Agent Manson Pines.” Said a smooth voice with a southern accent as he entered room.  
Dipper frozen and held his gun even tighter.

“Gleeful.” He spat with slight fear. Gideon, a well-muscled young man with finely groomed white hair smirked like a coyote at Dipper. He sat on the remains of a bed frame comfortable, next to him was a shotgun.  
“Good to see you.” He greet at Dipper. “How’s my darling Mabel?” 

Dipper shivered but kept his ground.

“It’s over Gleeful! We have you cornered.” 

“Who’s this ‘we’?” Gideon chuckled. “Boy, you’re all alone up here.” He got up and grabbed his shotgun. "Still trying to play hero by yourself?"

“Don’t call me boy...” Dipper aimed his gun at Gideon. 

“Oh!” Gideon clasped his two hands together. “Now there’s that United States government trigger happy attitude, go on-shoot me.”  
Dipper’s hands shook. 

“Go on, _boy,_ shoot me. You’ve been conspiring to kill me since you were twelve!” He placed the shotgun at his feet. Dipper’s finger edging towards the trigger. “You may kill me but it won’t stop what’s coming. He’s coming and your sister will regret rejecting me when he does!”

“What?” Dipper removed his finger from the trigger. “I wasn’t trying to kill you when I was a kid. ” And who was he even talking about? Typical Gideon. Never making any sense.

Before Dipper could continue, Agent McCarthy came barreling into the room

“Hands up Gleeful!” He yelled, his gun pointing at Gideon’s head. Seconds later, the rest of the FBI agent came running upstairs. “You’re done.”  
Gideon smirked, causing Dipper to worry but in the end he put his hands up.  
\----  
Once Gideon was carted away, Agent McCarthy asked Dipper to have a private conversation with him.

“Why did you go upstairs alone?” He asked impatiently. 

Dipper sighed.

“To check the rooms, I was handling it.”  


“You should be lucky he didn’t shot you.” Dipper’s nostril flared but he let his superior continue with his words. “You’re part of a team, Pines you can’t go running off on your own.” With that Agent McCarthy left to Dipper to stew in his thoughts.

“Well, he seems happy.” Wendy said as she walked over to Dipper. 

“Tell me about it.” Dipper muttered. “He’s one to talk. He stormed right into the place like some commando.”

“I don’t know I thought he looked cool.” Wendy said with a smirk. “In a bland Hollywood hero sort of way.” 

Dipper rolled his eyes at Wendy’s remarks but a small thin smile appear on his face.

A helicopter landed near the crime scene and one of the more senior FBI agents came out of it.

“Agent Pines, Agent McCarthy.” He said as the agents went over to greet him. “We’ve had a critical incident in Portland Oregon. We need you both at Portland general ASAP.”  
The agents looked at each other, worried about what that could mean but also curious why they’re were being called in.  
\---  
_Portland General Hospital._

“He’s still seems out of it. It’s likely he was drugged. There’s bruising on his waists and ankles.” Explained a senior agent, Daniel listened intensely, Dipper though, half listened. His mind was already blazing with questions and theories about how this could happen and why. Drug tracking? Human tracking? Some weird terrorist plot? He considered the possible of something supernatural but knew that was far from it. He was not on the X-files and was not even close to being like Fox Mulder.

As he thought about this, a small Korean woman in a doctor’s coat walked over and whispered something into the senior agent’s ear

“Doctor Chiu, these are Agent Dipper Pines and Agent Daniel McCarthy” The senior agent explained. 

“Oh, hello.” Doctor Chiu said shyly. “We got the MRI scans back and you’re not going to believe this.”  
\---  
Doctor Chiu brought them to her office. The place was welcoming and had a few motivational cat posters. Though Dipper did not very welcomed or motivated.

“Are any of you familiar with the drug ZIP?”

“Um no?” Dipper said honestly.

“Well it’s an experimental drug that’s supposed help people with intense traumatic memories. In theory it would more or less blocked any traumatic memories the user”  
“What are you getting at doctor?” Agent McCarthy asked.

“He has it in his system…”

“So whoever put him in the bag gave him a weird drug. Your point Doctor?” Agent McCarthy asked, his impatience mounting.  
Chiu sighed when she was interpreted but then continued.

“He wasn’t just given the drug, it looks like he was given massive amounts of it.” Doctor Chiu pointed to some MRIs. “So much that it damaged the parts of the brain responsible for his memory, he essentially has no way to remember who he was before entering that bag.”

“Are you serious?” Agent McCarthy said. 

“Very.” Doctor Chiu said grimly.

There was a knock at the door. 

“Agent McCarthy.” It was the senior agent. “We need to talk.” Agent McCarthy got up and left without even giving Dipper a second glance. 

Once he did so, Dipper went closer to the doctor. “So ah how many people know about this drug?” 

Doctor Chiu shrugged. “Really anyone in pharmaceuticals, and the FDA.”

“How do you know about it?” He then asked. 

“Um, I was part of the team oversaw the drug trial, Agent Pines.” Dipper ‘hmm’ed at the answer but left the doctor along for the time being. 

\----

Two minutes later, the senior agent knocked on the door again and demanded Dipper follow him. 

He was lead to the door of one of the examinations rooms, Agent McCarthy leaned by the room, looking very disappointed for some reason. Within the room were some FBI agents, some of the hospitals doctors and the tattooed man. 

“Do you know him?” Agent McCarthy said as he pointed to the tattooed man in the other room.

“Um no?” Dipper said as he stared at the tattooed man. The man was surprisingly tall with olive skin and long and unruly blond hair. He was lanky, even more so than 

Dipper himself and hazel eyes that so naïve but so ancient. He was a weird sight to see even without all the tattoos.  
Agent McCarthy tapped the window, the two doctors turned the tattooed man around and removed his hospital gown, revealing his bare back. His back tattoos were mostly weird looking runes and a triangle in the center. However above the triangle was a single name.

Dipper Pines.

“Then why is your name on his back?”

\----  
It was morning in Portland.

While most of the population had since recovered from last night unexpected strangeness and potential terror.

One had not.

He was in a hospital, watching grey skies form in his hospital room.

His name was John Smith. Well that’s the name that those strange men and woman gave him for now.

It felt wrong, that wasn’t his name. 

But what was his name? Rick? Wes? Bob? Bob…maybe. He licked the bottom of his tongue in thought.

No. It wasn’t Bob. But something with a ‘b’

“Buster….” He started to whisper, slowly picking at the hospital bracelet. “Bart?” No, no. That wasn’t it at all.

John Smith sighed, frustrated and feeling so trapped in this flesh suit.

Flesh suit? That’s a weird phrase…kind like it.  
\---  
“So he has no recall memory but otherwise is fine mentally.” Dipper asked he went through the files the Portland police and doctors had quickly written up for a sixth time.

“Yes. He knows how walk, speak, etc but it seems a bit clouded.” Doctor Chiu explained.  
“Clouded how?” Agent McCarthy asked. 

“Well for example he knows what music is but doesn’t know who the Rolling Stones are.” She used as an example. 

“That doesn’t mean much though.” Dipper brought up, already feeling like a tool speaking up. “I mean he could some Amish guy that got kidnapped and tattooed.” 

“Pines, thank you for your useful input.” Agent McCarthy said with heavy sarcasm. “Anyways, is he free to go?” 

“Um, Yes? But he’s still dazed and given the memory loss, we might want to keep for a few days.” Chiu said clearly trying to prevent Agent McCarthy from just taking John Smith away.

“Well that’s good enough for me.” Agent McCarthy said coldly.  
\-----

 

Ten minutes later, a group of men in cheap looking suits asked John Smith to come with them. At first he didn’t answer them since he was too distracted by the thing the doctors called food to even notice them. But soon he agreed and soon regretted it as he subjected to the most invasive experiences he had ever felt.

Photographers took photo after photo of his naked tattooed body. Forensic people took sample of his spit, hair, skin, blood. Anything they could their hands on. They scanned his tattoos, they tried to scan his brain.

He wondered why fleshbags were so damn nosy.  
\---  
Once they finished with him, an agent made him wear clothes and he was taken to an empty room with only a wooden table and two chairs on different sides. The agents more or less threw into one of the chairs then went to guard the door. He stared at them with hollow and curious eyes. Why wasn’t the victim here? He had wake up in that bag with no idea who or what he was. That wasn’t a good thing for human's right? 

…Was he human? 

As John Smith pondered this, a man had come into the room and took the other seat. The man was one of agents from last night. Daniel McCarthy was his name, he was somewhere in his thirties with pale skin and sharp green eyes. While he had very rugged and macho air about him, John felt like McCarthy was afraid about something. 

“Why were you in that bag?” He asked sternly as if he being in the bag was somehow his fault. John Smith grimaced at Agent McCarthy then suddenly realized something.  
He didn’t know or how but he felt he knew something about this man. It was like recalling a fuzzy memory. Suddenly in his mind he saw Agent McCarthy arguing with some woman. She seemed upset and he seemed annoyed.

“You wish your girlfriend would learn how to take a joke.” He blurted out like a child would a secret they promised to keep. 

“What?” Agent McCarthy said confusedly. “What do you know about my girlfriend?”  
John Smith blinked, the knowledge he had just gained seeming to go away.

“Nothing at all.”  
\----  
_FBI building, Portland Oregon._  


“Look, Doctor Chiu, I agree but given everything that happened, we need to get to the bottom of this sooner than later.” Robbie said into the telephone. He then sighed as the doctor started to rant and rail against him and the entire US government before ending the call.

“I see your people skills are still good.” Agent Wendy as she placed a cup of coffee onto Robbie’s desk. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a mess.” Robbie muttered. “Thanks for the coffee though, how’s things on your end?” 

Wendy scowled with annoyance. “There’s no recent or past no missing persons that fit John Smith’s description and local police insist no one saw any drop the bag.” She sat down. “And we still have to help Northwest with the paper work for the Gleeful arrest.”  
It was Robbie’s turn to groan. 

“Why does being the FBI mean so much paperwork?” He whined. 

“God motherfucking damnit!” Screamed Dipper who was sitting in his desk across the room and discarding yet another broken and chewed up pen. 

“Language, Pines.” Wendy teased. 

“Yeah, you offended my virgin ears.” Robbie joked. 

“You being a virgin of any kind is more impossible than this case.” Dipper replied, grabbing another pen from a cup full of them. 

“Why are you even abusing your pens like that?” Wendy then asked. “You should be helping Grenada with checking the terrorist chatter.” 

“There’s not going to any chatter about from weird dude we found in a bag.” Dipper explained with sign. “And I’m ‘abusing’ my pens because I can’t stop thinking about why my name was on that guy.”  
Both Wendy and Robbie shrugged. 

“Whoever is behind this probably just did that to spook us.” Robbie said, grabbing some of the paperwork on his desk."Finding names of FBI agents isn't that hard if you know what you're doing." 

“Or maybe John Smith is your secret lover you’re too ashamed to tell us about.” Wendy said with a laugh. 

“Or your stalker.” Agent Grenda pipped in with loud laugh. 

“Ha, ha.” Dipper said with heavy sarcasm. A minute later, one of the senior agents came walking into the office. 

“Pines!” They yelled. “Come with me.” 

Dipper sighed and put his pen back into the cup. 

This was going to be a long day.  
\-----  
“I already told you, I don’t know him!” Dipper as he sat across from a FBI agent in an integration room. 

“He claims other wise.” The agent said coldly. 

“He has no memory of his life before waking up in that bag.” 

“And yet he claims to know you.” The agent pulled out a laptop and displayed some video of John Smith talking with Agent McCarthy.

“Dipper Pines?” John Smith smiled. “Of course I know him!”  
“You do?” Agent Daniel said. “Tell me more.” 

“So what is it?” The agent talking to Dipper said. “Do you know him or not?” 

“He has no recall memory!” 

“So, the doctor claims….”  
Dipper wanted to face palm. This made no sense but if he wasn’t careful he could be in a heap of trouble. He had to think of something. 

“Look, let me talk to him.” Dipper suggested. “Maybe that’s why my name is on his back.” The agent rose an eyebrow at the suggestion. “What do you have to lose?” 

“A lot of things actually.” The agent brought up. “For all we knew this could be the part of a bigger plot.” 

“Or John Smith is a kidnap victim and whoever put those tattoos on him wants me for something.” 

The agent sighed and pulled out his phone. After several silent and awkward minutes of the agent texting someone, the agent spoke again. 

“Okay, you have six minutes with him.”  
\---  
Two minutes later Dipper found himself in the same interrogation room as John Smith. For some reason, Dipper felt nervous as he prepared to sit down. He didn’t know why, he looked the same as he did last night, confused and sad looking. But the way John Smith looked at Dipper with those sad and confused eyes, reminded Dipper of someone. At first he thought of Gideon but there was something more to it. He choose to forget it and focus on figuring out what was happening. 

“Hello…PineTree.” John Smith said with a smile. 

A smile that was far from perfectly normal. 


	2. The next step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are. Chapter two. I'm not 100% happy with it but this week has been hectic and my weekend will be as hectic. But enough about me, onto the fanfic.

_Greendale thirty miles away from Portland- two hours before._

Kenneth Miller slipped a hot cup of black coffee as he walked outside to get the mail. It was a mild morning in his neighborhood despite last night’s unexpected events in Portland. The sun was shining, the air was comfortable and everyone seemed relatively happy. His wife, Brenda had taken their two-year-old to a friend’s house for a playdate, their eight year old daughter was at a sleepover and would be there all day. And school was out so he a few days off before he start all the summer work he needed to do. Usually on his days off he would sip his coffee, get the mail and relax till he was needed from his family. Usually he would do this by watching a movie, a spy thriller often.

As he mused about this, he picked up the mail and gave quick glance at it. There were bills, coupons for Brenda, the newspaper and one other envelope. It was small and he almost did not notice it. On the front was a small symbol of a triangle with a singular harrowing eyeball.

With a frown, he realized that his day had come.

\-----  
_FBI integration room. Present time._

“Why did you call me, Pine Tree?” Dipper asked. 

“Because you’re Pine Tree.” John Smith explained as if it was the most obvious answer. When Dipper did not immediately respond, John Smith traced a pine tree with his fingers onto the table.

“Um….” Dipper stared at the tracing then at John Smith. “Okay? Did you see my name or this image somewhere where you kept? Did whoever kidnap you mention me?”  
John Smith blinked.

“What are you talking about?” John Smith asked like a child. “I have no idea who took me…or if I was even taken. You stupid fleshbags could have taken me.”  
Dipper just looked at other man worriedly. Did he call just the FBI a bunch of fleshbags? 

The door opened again as Dipper analyzed his thoughts, the same agent from before cane into the room his expression as harden as steel. “Your five minutes are up. " the agent then lifted Dipper up. 

"What? I was just..... "

“You clearly don’t know him and John Smith clearly has no idea what’s really going here.” Dipper narrowed his eyes at the certainty of that statement. Sure, John might have been a bit unhinged but he did know Dipper somehow. Instead of arguing, he just left the room with the other agent, John Smith waved at him with that strange smile on his face as Dipper left.

"Bye-Bye Pine Tree" 

====  
_FBI building, 16 minutes later._

Pacifica Northwest was very done with paperwork. Not only was she the only one doing the gleeful paperwork now she was only one focusing on the John Smith case since everyone on the assignment were something or listening to dipper whine and moan about the stupidity of the senior FBI agents.  


She shot a scolding scowl before returning to the paperwork. She hated him, always had. She too spent summers in gravity Falls but apparently unlike Dipper she had ask to be on the Gleeful case. She had to work twice as hard to get where she was now especially since her parents kicked her out when she was seventeen. And did she get to lead cases? Not often? Did she get many thanks from anyone? No. Even from people that knew her past solemnly vouched for her n any significant way No but Dipper “I can do things on my own even though is not how the FBI works” Pines can.  


A hefty sack of papers landed on her desk. Causing her to snap out of these ranting thoughts and to mess up a bit of the report. 

“For the love of pigs.” She mumbled as she looked at the papers. They were all photos and reports of John smith and she would have to-do all of it. She would have sworn but she just examined the photo. The third one was a photo of John Smith’s left hip which unlike runes were jumbled letters. She wrote them down and noticed they spelt out “Zmarxkl Qxtyik”. Was it code? Better question why did no one mention this in earlier reports. …Did they miss it? 

“Hey!” She yelled to the others. “Get over here.”  
\----  
“So what? It’s just a bunch of jumbled up letters.” Robbie said annoyingly, already going to his cellphone to see if there some sort of message he would pretend to reply to instead of listening to Pacifica.

“I mean it is weird no one noticed them….” Wendy with a bit more patience. 

“They might be code.” Grenda suggested with narrow eyes. “Yeah, my great aunt was obsessed with codes.” 

“Hmm, but what kind of code?” Pacifica start writing idea on a blank sheet of paper. “It might be Abash but….” 

As the others discussed what this could be mean, Dipper was at his empty desk and working. After he seen the pictures of jumbled letter tattoos, he quickly went to work It was a cipher and not a simple one at that, it was Vigenére. He chewed his pen as he tried to figure out the key. Since they had no idea who put the tattoos on John, there no real way to know what they might use as a key. Then again his name was on John’s back. That had to be mean something and somehow John knew Dipper. Or at least he thought he did.

John’s words and off putting smile start to appear in his mind as he thought about this. He called him Pine Tree…. was that his code name? Code for what? He didn’t know but on a whim, he used Pine Tree as a starting point. After some times and some pen chewing, he got the code and was even more confused. It was a name-of someone he did not know.

“Who the hell is Kenneth Miller?” He whispered to himself.  
\----  
_Saint Judas Church’s basement._

Kenneth wiped sweat from his brow as he took a break from his work. It was already noon and basement already felt suffocating. He was sure next time he saw Father Jefferson he would tell the man to get fans down here.  
Assuming he lived that long to do so.

He continued dumping more gasoline all over the basement, hoping the Father won’t ask him what he was doing down where.  
\----

“Kenneth Miller, 39, born in Los Angeles, he teaches 6th grade math at Greendale Middle School.” Agent McCarthy said as he explained to the others. “He got his degree at Lewis and Clark College and has two kid and a wife.”

“Beyond a few speeding tickets, he doesn’t seem to be criminal mastermind.” Pacifica pointed out.

“Neither is Dipper.” Wendy teased, causing many of the agent, including Pacifica to laugh.

“We’ll send his name and photo to John Smith.” Agent McCarthy continued to explain to those who were still listening. “And local Greendale police have been called to get him to their station and we’ll video chat with about John.” 

One of the agent who was not listening or even laughing was Dipper. He just stared at the information the FBI gather about the guy. It was true Miller was a normal guy-hell his driver’s license had wearing ugly looking sweater vest Grunkle Ford might wear. The only odd thing was his family was dirt poor. Mom was a pole dancer at night club that had a gang connection and his father worked at a chicken wings place. Of course, according to the file had won a scholarship from an essay contest.

But something felt off about that. He didn’t know…his school records were not in the file and there was little information about the contest itself. Shouldn’t they have his school records or at least a way to get them? They got all of this in twenty minutes…

“Pines? What’s wrong? Is this case not weird enough for you?” Robbie with a teasing grin when noticed his agent was staring blankly at the file.

“Huh?” Dipper snapped to reality. “Well, doesn’t anyone find it odd he randomly won a contest though we don’t have information on it.”

“Shockingly Pines, we can’t know everything.” Agent McCarthy grumbled. “And what does reveal does even have to do the case.”

“What if he got the money from a criminal organization and lied about it.” Dipper suggested knowing it a reach but going on. “And whoever put that tattoo on John wanted us to know.”

Agent McCarthy’s nostril flared up but he said nothing. In fact, no one said nothing for a few seconds, trying to analyze what Dipper actually said.

“That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard, Dipper.” Pacifica said in a huff.

“Yeah, dude you really think whoever had the resources to John into that bag would even care about Miller?” Robbie suggested with a shrug. 

“Why would they care about me? Or even calling the FBI in the first place.” 

No one answered because no one had one. This was simple like tackling gangs or fraud or tracking dangerous criminals. This entire case was just weird. 

“Either way, we should see what John Smith knows.” Wendy then said, wanting this conversation to close. 

“Yeah, he might say Kenneth Miller is the acorn to go along with Pine Tree.” Someone joked. 

Dipper rolled his eyes at that and sighed.  
\----

After Dipper’s failed talk, they had moved John Smith to one the FBI’s nearest safe houses. Which a bland studio apartment in one of more reasonable priced areas of the city. The carpet was purple color and there were a few square photo frames and tacky decorations to make seem like a place of dwelling than a safe house. John was currently sitting at the kitchen table, eating some pudding while several body guards lurked about around windows, doors and any other danger zones. When Dipper came inside John nearly choked on his spoon with excitement.

“Pine Tree!” He said happily. Dipper mumbled a hello as he sat on the table. Thankful, only Agent McCarthy was there from his team as everyone else was back at HQ or helping the outside bodyguards. 

“What brings you here?” Dipper pulled out Kenneth Miller’s photo and gave it to John.

“What do you know about Kenneth Miller?” Dipper asked, while McCarthy entered the room standing any the wall, looking a bit uncomfortable. 

“Hmmm…” John turned the photo upside down. “Geez! He’s even more boring looking than you are, Pine Tree.” 

“If you’re going to joke…” McCarthy took a step closer and his eyes seemed wild. John cringed at the motion, causing Dipper to glare the other agent. 

“Maybe don’t scare our only lead.” He muttered to Agent McCarthy.

“Don’t forget your place, Pines.” 

“Oh!” John said, before the words became harsher between Dipper and McCarthy. “I know he’s a bad liar!” 

“What?” The agents said in unison.

“This guy.” He pointed at photo. “He’s really uncreative with his lies.”

 _Saying you got money in an essay contest isn’t that unoriginal but it’s not clever if you don’t make watertight._ Dipper mused.

“And how do you know that?” Agent McCarthy asked.

“I don’t know…he looks like one.” John said. Agent McCarthy glared daggers at John who was now fiddling with a empty pudding cup. “Hey, do you have any more pudding?” 

Agent McCarthy glared harder and walked closer to John, who again started to cringe. Dipper tried to stop Agent McCarthy but he was shoved aside. Once he reached to where John was he shoved the smaller man into a nearby wall.

“Do you or do you not know Kenneth Miller?” He asked grimly. “Answer me, you annoying freak!” 

“Um Nes?” John smirked weakly but his legs were shaking. “It’s a combination of no and yes-” Agent McCarthy shoved harder into the fell, causing John to make some sort of pained new.

“Agent!” Said one of the bodyguards who heard Dipper fell to the floor. 

“Agent McCarthy, put John Smith down!” Dipper said on the floor with determination. “Do it or I’ll make you.” 

Agent McCarthy glared John one last time but then let him go. 

“It’s part of the job, Pines.” He muttered before leaving the room, both of other agents glaring their own daggers at him.

“Look…I’m sorry about that.” Dipper said as he walked over to John who hasn’t moved from the wall. 

“Don’t worry Pine Tree. I don’t think I’m supposed to die…” John said with a smile. “Or maybe I am. My brain is mush!” 

“Um yeah…” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Do you want me or one of the other Agents to get more pudding?” 

“Sure! But only you! These other agents are boring” Dipper shrugged but went to the kitchen, trying not to think why John even cared about him.  
\--  
When he entered the kitchen however, his cellphone rang. It was Wendy. Hopefully she had some good news.

“Did you find Miller?”

“No!” She yelled into the phone, sounding very worried. “That’s the thing. Local police said Miller isn’t at his house and his wife has no idea where he could be.”  
Dipper frowned. He should probably tell Agent McCarthy this…

He then noticed John standing in the kitchen with the empty pudding cup.

“I see you haven’t gotten my pudding yet…but I remembered something about that guy. He keeps his promises.” John smirked darkly and Dipper suddenly had a bad feeling about everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be soon and we'll end this sort of "pilot" and begin the story proper.  
> if you wish to talk to me about my fanfic send me a message at yetanothersecretficblog. I don't bite ;3


	3. A very complicated situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this got finished earlier than expected. Hope people like it.
> 
> Disclaimer since I keep forgetting to do this. I'm sure there' a lot of misinformation and misconceptions about FBI and the police in this fanfic, as with any fictional thing. Please tell me if I have done something really off or made a plot point that just silly or ridiculous.

_A few miles from Greendale hospital_

Dipper hated flying.

It was something he had gotten used to when working with the FBI. Part of the job, his Grunkle Ford used to say.

But all the same, he found himself constantly resisting the urge to vomit or think about painfully detailed visions of the aircraft tumbling to the ground.  
Standing between John and agent McCarthy was not helping things. As soon as McCarthy heard about Kenneth disappearing he demand a chopper and John to accompany them. Dipper of course argued about this. Calling for a chopper was silly and forcing what technically was a civilian to come was dangerous. McCarthy rolled his eyes of course and said it was likely that John and Kenneth were connected. Dipper tried to use math how statically iffy that logic was but it was too late. The others agreed and here they were. John gave him up a thumb up when he noticed how gloom Dipper's mood was. But he didn’t even notice, as Dipper was too busy glaring McCarthy. 

Soon though the helicopter descended to the only landing bay in town. The local hospital which most recent bit of action was a hunting accident involving three hunters and a crossbow. (Dipper only knew that since Soos the pilot always loved chatting and had a habit of knowing weird things.) As the trio exited of the helicopter, one of the local police greeted them. He was a skinny black man whose name was Joe, he quickly updated the trio about the situation. Kenneth was still missing and his wife insisted that he would randomly leave, and the family owned one car and the wife was using at the time.

“I want everyone that leaves or enters this town to be question about Kenneth, he could have used a friend car or hid in a truck.”

“Or he walked.” Dipper mused.

“I wasn’t asking you, Pines.” 

“What should I do? John pipped from behind

“Stay with Pines or at least with our police escort.”

“But that’s boring…” John turned to Dipper hoping he would defend him.

“Well that’s how it is.” Dipper said to him like a stern parent. “We don’t you to get hurt.”

John rolled his eyes and mumbled something but dipper didn’t hear what it was.

In twenty minutes time the local police had started to begin a excessive car search of any incoming and outgoing cars. Half the police were at work at this while the rest were doing door to door or were on standby if other crimes. Some of the off-duty officers and some of the retired officers were even helping out as this sort of thing never happened in this town and Kenneth Miller was taught some their kids or grandkids math.

The two. FBI agents, Joe at were at the ‘headquarters’ which was the miller household. Dipper and Joe waited by Brenda side who was watching the phone worriedly. McCarthy watch the window with a grim expression on his face.  
John chatted with kids about odd things like fact about snakes and the true names of stars.

The kids half listened and played hand handle. Video games. 

No one talked to each or spoke to each other.

Suddenly Joe’s radio buzzed. It was from the station

“Hey Joe…. we got a phone call from, its Miller.” The voice on the other hand said. 

“What?” Joe said into the radio. “Can you give me details.”

Sadly, the officer could give more details. Just Miller was at a Church and that he wanted to someone from the government to begin someone to him.

“Okay, send local police to every single Church in town and tell them to on alert. Tell them to get SWAT.” McCarthy said to Joe as he started walking back to the car. “Pines, call Wendy and get and the rest of our agents ASAP.” 

“And what are going to then?” Dipper said worriedly. “We have no idea what’s going in Kenneth Miller’s mind.”

“Exactly.” 

“Can I see Kenneth?” Brenda asked worriedly. 

“I think it would be best if you stay here, a police escort will stay here and keep you updated.” Joe explained as he leads the other three outside.  
“Hey um, what should I do?” John asked as he headed outside.

“Stay in the car till we have Kenneth Miller.” McCarthy ordered and Dipper gave John a stern look, in agreement with the other agent words for once.  
\-----  
It didn’t take long to find Kenneth as there only a few churches in the town. The church was very progressive church and had in the town for eighty years  
The church grounds had two old ladies waiting on the lawn. Apparently, Miller who sometimes helped do cleaning in basement had in come and then started to dose everything in gasoline. Miller then kicked everyone that wasn’t the priest out of the church. The police and SWAT were already there and trying to coax Kenneth Miller outside but was silent. Seeing this McCarthy quickly got out of the police car, with Dipper following, John tried to get out but McCarthy glared him to stay inside. Once he did that he turned to the church’s entrance. 

“Kenneth Miller. My name is Daniel McCarthy, I’m with the FBI.” He said loudly. “Who do you want?” 

“I would like to speak with Bill Cipher!” Kenneth Miller yelled as he pointed gun the priest’s head. “Or I’ll kill him and set the Church on fire!” In his other hand, he had a lit match.

McCarthy turned to Dipper who was behind watching, Dipper with interest.  
“Who’s Bill Cipher?” 

“No idea.” Dipper shook his head. Was it another name on John’s body? Or was he the person that gave Kenneth all that money?

“Run the name through the database.” 

“We may not have that time…” Dipper pointed out. “Wendy and the others can’t leave the office since you know, we have other cases.” Strangely, McCarthy nodded in agreement.

“Let me try something.” He then suggested.

“We will find this Bill Cipher, for you just let the priest go.” McCarthy called out. 

“I am not letting him go till Cipher is here.” Kenneth countered.  
McCarthy sighed.  
“Pines, ask John if he knows who or what Bill Cipher. The hostage negotiator will try to calm, Miller down.”

Dipper nodded and back to the car. John looking like a excited puppy when Dipper to open like door.  
“Can I do anything for you, Pine Tree?” He asked happily.  
“John does the name Bill Cipher mean anything to you?”

John looked weirdly at Dipper like he was remembering something awful then he shrugged plainly.  
“No idea. I like the name though.” John smiled again.  
“Of course, you do.” Dipper went to close the door. “Thanks away.” 

“Wait!” John said as he placed his fingers at the door to stop Dipper from closing it. “I can pretend to be Bill Cipher, well till that silly fleshbag is out of harm’s way.”

Dipper sighed and considered closing the door on him but maybe it could work? At least till someone could think of a better plan. 

“Fine but if I, McCarthy or even the hostage negotiator tells you to stand down you do it.” He gave John a stern look and then let him get out of the car.  
When he explained his plan to McCarthy, he was less than thrilled.

“This is one of the dumbest ideas you’ve ever had, Pines.” He said angrily. “You were the one complaining about John being here.”

“Look it would be for a few minutes.” 

“That’s a few minutes too risky.” McCarthy said. 

“What do you propose?” Dipper snapped angrily. “Because all you have done is boss me around and roughed up John.”

“Hey would you two actually help out?” Joe said as he went between “Because we got a hostage situation-our first one in five decades.” He glared the two FBI agents. “And we don’t need two overpaid FBI agents yelling at each other.”

“Excuse me?” McCarthy before he started ranting at Joe, who in turned started to rant at him. Dipper facepalmed at the lack of professionalism and the insanity that had been the last forty odd hours.

As the McCarthy argued with the police, John poked Dipper on his shoulder.  
“Pine Tree…kiss me.” John said as went closer to Dipper.

“What?” Dipper said awkwardly. “Dude, go back in the car.”

“But it should distract the human with gun.”

“Dude it’s 2025, no one cares about that shit anyone.”

“Oh?” John frowned and turned his gaze to the ground. “I liked messing with homophobes….”

“I would like to speak with Bill Cipher! “Kenneth Miller yelled again. “I know he’s around!” 

“He is not!” The hostage negotiator who was a short brown skinned woman who was a bit inexperienced at her job.

“You’re lying.” Kenneth said angrily. “He’s here…. he’s always here.” 

McCarthy stopped yelling at the Joe and turned his sights back on Kenneth. “Okay…. I need someone to search some database for this Bill and I find someone else to talk to Miller.” He explained. “Maybe he could give us someone info.” Joe sighed but decided to try and looked up Bill Cipher. McCarthy then turned to another cop. “Is there a way the SWAT could enter with the back entrance?” 

As the cop explained the hostage negotiator, started to ask Kenneth Miller about Bill Cipher.

“Who is Bill Cipher to you? Are you friends?” 

Kenneth Miller scowled at the woman.

“He gave me something and told me when the time come, he would need me to do something.”

The hostage negotiator frowned. 

“Is this what he wanted you to do?”

“He wanted me to cause…suffering…pain.” Kenneth Miller looked away. “I have to go to do this or my family won’t be saved!”

“Saved from what?” The woman asked. “If this Bill Cipher has made threats at you family we will find him and stop him.”

Kenneth Miller looked at McCarthy and the police officers he talking with. 

“You can’t and I know you only care just those uniform murders can kill me!!” He screamed which caused the priest to winced in fear.

“I’m not….” 

But Kenneth Miller just yelled back and started ranting and raving about the coming of Bill Cipher. This caused everyone to looked at Kenneth Miller worried, McCarthy tried rethink his plan but Kenneth Miller started threatening him. Meanwhile John started to move closer to the church entrance. 

“I am Bill Cipher.” John said bravely. “Look I’m here.” 

 

Kenneth Miller blinked at him. 

“You’re not…” 

“Yes I am.” John smiled. “Been a while, um could you put the priest down?”

Kenneth Miller looked at John clearly not believing that he was Bill Cipher. But then he got a good luck at John. Then he looked horrified as if he realized something no one else noticed. 

“You!” Kenneth backed away in fear. “How did you get there? This wasn’t supposed to be like this…”

“Huh?” John walked closer. “What are you on about?”

He pushed the priest to the ground then he pointed the gun at him.  
“No!” Dipper yelled as he ran over to tackle John down. The SWAT team and McCarthy raced towards Kenneth and told him to get down, he refused and was about drop the match then McCarthy grabbed him by the shirt collar.  
“Don’t even think about.” He said darkly to Kenneth Miller who rose his hands please.

“Please…I had a promise to keep.”  
McCarthy said nothing and let the SWAT take Kenneth away. 

“Pine Tree…you saved me.” John said on the ground. His eyes were bright and Dipper tried to not expression his annoyance at that.

“Don’t mention it…. would of done it for anyone.”

John laughed and it was the weirdest thing Dipper had ever heard.  
\---

Kenneth Miller was with the local police, Father Jefferson was a bit bruised but overall fine. The paperwork was filed.

And yet Dipper felt empty. He sat on his desk and stared blankly at his computer. The whole thing started then ended and there were still so many questions. Who was Bill? Why did Miller think John was Bill?  
…Was John Bill? 

His thoughts were interrupted when McCarthy came to his desk and with John behind him.

“Um sir?” 

“Good job today, Pines.” McCarthy said with a forced smile.

“You’re welcome?” This was weird, McCarthy rarely thanked anyone unless it was super serious or he had to. 

“Now, I should tell you. While we’re not keeping John anymore, we’re still on his case. And the tattoos case.”

Dipper narrowed his eyes on confusion.

“Yep. Given John’s tattoos lead stopping an arson attempt, we are going to decode all of them and stop any crimes they lead us.” 

"Should we though?" Dipper said, almost under his breath. "We don't usually stop arsons." 

"No but given Miller's comments....these crimes could part of something bigger." 

Dipper only nodded, too tired to argue with that point. 

“And there’s one last thing.” 

He stepped aside and let John stepped forward. “The FBI head believes you should be the one to take of John Smith.” McCarthy explained. “Till we can figure he has a next of kin…”  
“That makes no sense! I’m a field agent, not a babysitter!” Dipper couldn’t believe this! And he believed in a lot of outlandish things.

“This case is far from normal Pines, get used to it.” Agent Daniel said before he just shoved John Smith towards Dipper before leaving.

“Hi!” John Smith said. “Good to see you again.” 

Dipper sighed but did force a smile. 

“Um, hi John. Come on, my car is waiting.”

“Could you do something first?” 

“What?” Dipper said with slight fear, John would try to kiss him again.

“Call me Bill. It’s a much better name than John Smith.”

“Ah…sure.”

Bill then smiled at Dipper.

Dipper hoped this wasn’t a sign that John was in fact Bill Cipher.  
\----  
Twenty minutes later they were in Dipper’s apartment. It was a messy place, files and books of various covered most of the tables. And there still a few unopened boxes. The walls were pale blue color and had a few nerdy posters on them. The couch had blankets and a pillow as Dipper sometimes slept there instead of sleeping in his own bed. There was a bowl of half-finished of cereal on the coffee table  
“Nice place.” Bill said without any hint of sarcasm. 

“Um thanks?” Dipper dropped the bag of clothes on the floor. “Bathroom’s that way.” He pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “Also, feel free to take stuff from the fridge…just don’t cook anything.” 

Bill smiled at Dipper warmly.

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.” He said with equal warmness.

Dipper had no idea if Bill was lying or not. 

He wondered if he cared.  
\---  
_Portland General Hospital._ “Do you have the file?” A gravelly voiced in the shadows.

Doctor Candy Chiu stopped what she was doing and cringed internally.

“Doctor?” Said a younger, more naïve sounding voice asked within the shadows. 

She closed her eyes and sighed.

“It’s in the drawer to my left.” A aged and worn hand went over to the drawer and open it up. A beefy file was picked up and then the hand was gone.

“Your country thanks you for your services.” The younger voice said proudly. 

Doctor Chiu said nothing.

“We will be back.” Said the other voice. 

“I know.” Doctor Chiu whispered.

But they were already gone.

With a shiver, she went back to her work and pretended that this was perfectly normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done with the "pilot" so to speak! What will be happen next time? What other gravity falls characters will make a appearance? Why I am asking you all these questions?
> 
> Don't be afraid to leave kudos or comments(of any kind. A emoji counts. )


	4. Another day at work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel visits, more clues are found and our boys have some odd dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back. Sorry for the wait everyone, been a crazy couple months. But I'm determined to get this fic done by the end of this year! Big thanks to Little Dipper for helping with editing.(psst you should all read "long road to hell" by him. It's great.)

_ An endless cosmos stood before him. _

_ Behind him was an army of a million followers, all hellish and revolting in their own special way. _

_ The time for him to rise was soon. _

_ Abnormality would be the norm. _

_ A white blinding light clouded his vision. _

_ His minions screamed and howled, abandoning him the instant they saw the light. _

_ He felt himself float up, and felt his entire being get picked apart and reshaped. A calm and gentle voice spoke to him, but he could barely hear the words as his vision slowly started to fade away. _

_ Darkness. _

_ Emptiness. _

_ Noises. _

_ He felt so alive. _

Bill burrowed out of his ‘burrito’ of blankets as the dream left him.  He was a bit upset that the dream ended where it did.  He felt it was getting to the good part (or at least the interesting part.)  That sense of power…that sense of  _ malice _ . It was intoxicating to think about. He wished that was his reality. He wished he could ascend like that once again.

Maybe he could, if he tried hard enough.

Either way, he was awake now, and he was bored.

He removed himself from the couch and went to amuse himself the only way he knew how.

Annoy Pine Tree.

_ \--- _

_ “Why hello there,” greeted the party’s host. Dipper turned and stared at the man. He was an impressive specimen, six feet tall, with soft blond hair and dazzling eyes. He looked like one of those sexy vampire characters Mabel used to obsess over, but tonight Dipper found that compelling.  He was wearing a stunning and expensive-looking gold and black suit. _

_ “Hi,” Dipper said with a wave.  “Nice party.” He frowned at the loud noise and how overcrowded it was. “Considering how packed it is.” _

_ The party host nodded in agreement. “Indeed, we should fix that.” With a wave of his hand the party vanished and Dipper was all alone with him. “There, much better.” _

_ “Ah….yeah.” Dipper slowly realized that he might be dreaming.  “Much.”  _

_ The party host approached him. _

_ “Kiss me.” The party host said coolly. The voice was a cool breeze on Dipper’s ears. _

_ “What?” Dipper asked with a blush. _

_ “Kiss me. You’re so stressed out and so alone. No one respects you…” The party host grabbed Dipper’s hands and held them softly. “When was the last time you relaxed or let yourself be loved?” _

_ Dipper had no idea. Maybe never…he was working so hard….always trying to save people. Do everything on his own. Maybe one kiss won’t hurt. He nodded and the party host smiled.   The party host came for a kiss when- _

“Agent Pines,” whined a voice. Dipper’s dream shattered.

Dipper groaned and tried to bury himself deeper into his blankets as if that would solve his problem.

“Dipper…” the voice went on.

He swore and threw a pillow over his head.

“ _ Pine Tree. _ ” The voice became almost sing-song, like some creepy, too-cute cartoon character.

Dipper wondered why he even bothered with joining the FBI. He should have listened to Mabel.

Becoming a ghost hunter would have been much safer and less maddening. 

His door opened and someone wandered into the room.

“There you are!” exclaimed the voice. A second later, Dipper’s covers were removed from the bed at unnatural speed.

“Fuck you…” Dipper said, feeling the cold of his apartment.

“Good morning!” Bill said happily.

“What do you want?” Dipper said with a groan.

“I’m  _ bored. _ ”

Dipper wanted to drill his brain to mush.

“I’m not your dancing bear.”

“No, you’re Pine Tree.”

“No, really?” Finally, he pushed himself upwards and glared at Bill. “I thought I was Shooting Star.”

“No, that’s your sister,”  Bill explained, as if it was obvious. 

Dipper’s eyes widened.

“How do you know about Mabel?” 

“Um... You have her picture near the TV?” Bill answered awkwardly.   

“Right…” Dipper said, remembering that he did indeed have a picture of Mabel  near his TV. 

He checked his phone and noticed that he had an unread text message. At first, he assumed it was from work and about the case.  Instead, it was from Mabel, asking if he was ready for their breakfast get-together.

Dipper facepalmed and swore internally. He had forgotten  about that completely. What was he going to do with Bill?

\---

“So, this guy is involved with a case of yours?” Mabel asked as the trio sat at a diner near Dipper’s apartment.  Bill was fiddling with napkins as Dipper stared at his menu.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Dipper, I’m your sister,” Mabel said. Dipper sighed. He had heard this conversation before.

“I’m an FBI agent, and there are things you can’t know,” he repeated. Mabel pouted, and Dipper couldn’t tell if she was  serious or not.

“So are we going to order?” Bill complained. “Because I think my stomach is digesting itself.”

“That’s not how stomachs work,” Dipper muttered. “And we will once someone comes over.”

Bill frowned at that and went back to fiddling with his napkin.

“So Bill, what do you for the FBI?”

“They use me, “Bill said darkly. “Treat me like a thin-”

Dipper stepped on Bill's shoe.

“He means he's a consultant,” Dipper said, eyeing Bill.

Their waiter approached them and asked what they were having before Mabel could ask what that was about.

“Dipper, can I talk to you?” Mabel asked towards the end of breakfast.

“Sure,” Dipper said as he swallowed the last of his waffles.

Mabel stood up and motioned for Dipper to follow her to where the bathrooms were.

“Don't start anything,” he said to Bill, half-serious.

When he caught up to Mabel, she crossed her arms and looked gravely serious.

“What’s going on? Be honest.”

“I can't.”

“Dipper, I'm not dumb. I solved mysteries in Gravity Falls too.”

“This isn’t the same. This guy could be involved  in who-knows-what. He was part of that bombing scare three weeks ago.”

Mabel sighed and frowned. She clearly wanted to know more, but she knew it was pointless.

“Stay safe, then, and keep Bill safe, whoever he is. He seems like an okay guy,” she said softly.

“Thank you for understanding,” Dipper said with a smile. He noticed Bill was taking the remains of Mabel’s breakfast off her plate and onto to his. This was going to be a long day.

\--

After breakfast was paid for and Bill was told not to steal food off of other people’s plates, the trio prepared to leave.

“Oh, Dipper, are you free the 18th?” Mabel asked before he left the diner.

“Ah, I guess. I still have to keep an eye on Bill until the case is over”

“Well, could you get someone to watch him? I want to have a nice dinner that day, and I need to tell you something”

“Hey, I'm right here” Bill murmured.

“Tell me what?”

“You'll see.” She hugged him tightly. “Bye, I have go to work.”

“Bye,” Dipper said. 

\---

“Pine Tree….I’m-” Bill started from his chair.

“If you say you’re bored again, I’m throwing this file at you.”

“Hungry,” Bill said with crossed arms. “I was going to say I was hungry.”

Dipper rubbed his face. “Bill, we just got here.”

“No. It’s two in the afternoon.”

Dipper blinked and rubbed his face again, then checked his phone. It was indeed two in the afternoon, specifically 2:05pm.He sighed and cursed time itself(knowing that time was not really ‘real’).

“Your sister is right…. you don’t know how to take care of yourself,” Bill mumbled.

“What?”

“When you went to the bathroom, your sister and I talked about you,” he explained with a shrug. “She mentioned how you sometimes don’t take care of yourself.”

Dipper huffed and reminded himself to talk with Mabel later. He got up and led Bill to the café, thinking there would be enough food left there at this hour.

“Come on, let’s get some lunch.” 

\----

“You work too much,” Bill said suddenly during their lunch. Dipper put down his fork and moved his gaze from his file to Bill. 

“Huh?” 

“You heard me, you work too much.” Bill pointed to the file Dipper was reading. “You’ve been staring at the file for five minutes. You almost put salad dressing on it.”

Dipper sighed, not sure what had gotten into Bill.

“I’m doing my job. I’m trying to  figure out information about all the names we found on your tattoos,” he explained plainly.

“No, your job is to keep an eye on me,” Bill stated. “That jerky guy and your friends are doing the information stuff. It’s why they’re not here.”

“No need to remind me,” Dipper muttered. He didn’t want to think about the fact he was stuck babysitting a weirdo (and dealing with Northwest) while Wendy and the others were all over the country, working with other agencies, following leads, actually doing something.

“Come on, it’s not all bad,” Bill said as he ate a corn chip. “At least I’m handsome.” Bits of corn chip jumped out of his mouth.

“Handsome…sure.” Dipper said as he looked disgustedly at the chewed food on the table.

“You don’t think I’m sure handsome?” Bill sighed. “Well, what’s ‘handsome’ to you?”

“I don’t have time to think about that stuff.” Dipper mumbled as he returned to eating his Greek salad.

“Pine Tree, that’s what Time Baby wants you to think.” Bill said in a stage whisper. Dipper stabbed an olive and rose eyebrow.

“...What?” He said confusedly.

Bill sighed. “Never mind. I’m getting a cookie.” He got up and left the table. Dipper rolled his eyes at Bill’s weirdness and went back to work.

Someone then tapped him on the shoulder. It was Pacifica. She motioned her eyebrows to a free table for them to eat at. Dipper followed her, curious as to what she wanted with him.

“What do you want?” he asked, eyeing her suspiciously. While they were co-workers and got along better than they had in the past, Dipper was always cautious around her, especially when she was asking things of him.

“I was going through all the missing person reports we’ve compiled that matched Bill’s description, and I think I found a match,” she started to explain.

“So? Tell McCarthy,” Dipper replied. Pacifica pulled out a file and pushed it over to Dipper’s side of the table.

“We need talk to about it first.”  

Dipper stared down at the file. It looked unremarkable and quite thin. The folder containing it was aged and smelt vaguely of dust mixed in with aged cardboard. Slowly he took the file and opened it. He read the text carefully and with consideration. When he had finally read everything, and understood it, he frowned uncomfortably.

The file was about a missing child by the name of William  Hirsch

According to the file, he was taken from his house on June 18 th 1982...in Gravity Falls.

\---

Once Dipper returned to Bill (and then told another agent to watch him), he and Pacifica started digging into this missing person case. They called almost everyone they knew in Gravity Falls, but no one knew anything about this case or about William himself. Even Stanford had no idea about him or his case. Though the older man did admit that around that time he was knee deep in work for the government.

“I can’t believe no one knows about this kid,” Dipper complained after about twenty minutes of fruitless searches. “We can’t even get information on his parents.” He started chewing on a pen.

“Stop that,” Pacifica said as she peered at him. “And we both know Gravity Falls townsfolk can be a bit dense.” 

Dipper put the pen down and shook his head at Pacifica’s suggestion. “They’re not that dense. And even then,  your old maid Melissa?  She’s smart and she doesn’t remember William –”

“I know.” Pacifica rubbed her temple as she spoke. “I say we tell Wendy and Robbie when they get back, then tell McCarthy.”  

“Should we tell Bill?” Dipper asked. Pacifica looked at Dipper like he grew an extra arm.

“You want him to know that he could be a missing kid that his childhood town forgot?”  She sighed. “We’ll tell him once we know more.”

“Know more about what?” said a voice. Dipper and Pacifica turned around and saw Bill standing near their work space.

“Bill, shouldn’t be with Agent Green?”  Dipper asked impatiently.

“I was, but then she got a call from school about her daughter getting into a fight.” Bill snorted loudly. “She’s going to be so mad when she finds out the fight was over a chicken nugget.” He continued his explanation. “Then I went to find Question Mark but no one knew who I meant, so I went to look for you.” He then noticed Pacifica. “And Llama too! How’s your family?

“Ah…” Dipper said at Bill’s explanation while Pacifica glared at Bill. “We’re working on something.”  

Bill rolled his eyes. “I know that.” He picked a paper that came from the file. “Hmm, William Hirsch? What a dumb name.” When he looked at the file, his expression became indecipherable to Dipper and Pacifica. He then put the file down and looked at his stomach.

“I think my lunch didn’t agree with me, PT.”  Dipper looked suspicious, but nodded.

“I’ll show you where bathroom is,” Dipper said.

\---

Twenty minutes later and Bill still wasn’t back from the bathroom. 

“You could have hidden that paper,” Pacifica said in a passive-aggressive tone.  Dipper rolled his eyes.

“He has no recall memory,” Dipper muttered.

“No, but he could have been triggered by it.”  Dipper sighed and knew she was right.

“I’ll check on him.”

When he arrived in the men’s bathroom, it was empty save for another agent washing his hands.

“Hey, have you seen Bill?” he asked the agent. The agent said no, and Dipper became worried. The window above wasn’t open and someone would have told him if Bill left building… right? He rushed out of the bathroom and headed to the front desk. The person there insisted that they had not seen him, and they insisted they wouldn’t just miss him.  Dipper wasn’t entirely convinced but didn’t want to argue.  Bill was missing and now wandering the city.

This was not good.


	5. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper tries to find Bill.  
> Agent Daniel makes a discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. New mostly unedited chapter. I'll fix any mistakes ASAP but otherwise hope you enjoy!

_Glass Shard Beach New Jersey_

Daniel McCarthy was stumped.

He, Agent Corduroy’s   and Agent Valentino were in this shit hole to find Brendan Lane, a science teacher.  Corduroy and Valetino were going to Brendan’s house while he waited on Brendan’s medical records.   His name was found on Bill’s left ankle and they tracked her down to this shithole town. But there was no sign of him, the local police barely seemed aware this man existed and there was something off about his file. It felt too clean. He had a pretty normal childhood like most did, he did decent at school like most did. He had a few speeding tickets like most did.  Why was  he on Bill’s body? This wasn’t like -, Brendan Lane was perfectly normal from start to finish.

And yet they were because that weirdo’s weird tattoos told them to be.  He looked down at the beach, there more litter than sand and he was pretty sure a seagull effortless eating glass shards. He did a double take at the sight but noticed something even more odd. By the edge of the beach, there were two, one seemed older and a stony expression on his face, and the other was younger with sharp brown hair. They both worn suits and seemed government. They were both reading files that seemed contain material like what they had on Brendan Lane

That was…odd.

 ---

“I can’t believe this” Dipper said angrily as walked outside with  Pacifica behind.

 

“Dipper focus, the more we just freak out, the further Bill gets.”

 

Dipper rubbed his temples in frustration.

“I know that…”  He felt awful…. he should have been more careful. Leaving information like that.  “We need to figure out where he is.”

 

“Maybe he’s in your apartment...” Pacifica suggested.

 

 

“He doesn’t have a key.”

 

 

“What? You don’t trust him?”

 

“Would you?” Dipper asked and Pacifica had no answer to that question.

 

“Well, are there other places he would have gone?” She asked.

 

“Maybe one of the diners I’ve took him too.” Dipper said as he started to run towards one of those diners.

Pacifica sighed but followed after him. Dipper was so lucky he was twins with Mabel….

 

 

 

 

 

\---

_‘William Hirsch….’ A cold voice said to him._

_‘Yes?’ The child asked as he shivered._

_‘I need you  for  something…’_

“What will you have?” Asked a tall woman with large plastic blue earrings

Bill snapped out of his thoughtsand looked at the woman as if she punched him in the gut.

“Ah um…tea.” Bill said nervously.

 

 

“What flavor sweeatheart?”  The woman said as she sensed Bill’s discomfort.

“Tea?” Bill said, the woman nodded despite knowing that was not a type of tea. A minute or so later, the woman served him a cup of tea and he put some hot sauce into it. That was what humans did their tea right? Put stuff into it?

\---

“This is the fourth diner, we’ve been to.” Pacifica said. “Why do you take him to so many diners?”

 

“I don’t like becoming regulars…” Dipper explained. “It feels weird.”

Pacifica rolled her eyes but reframed from saying anything else. 

 

“Maybe we should call in some of the team?”

 

 

“No, that might make him even more upset.”

 

“But it’s getting late and Bill’s vital to this case.” Pacfica pointed out.   She was right about that but she didn’t want to upset Bill any more than he already had.

“Okay, we’ll make one last diner then we call in the team.”

The fifth diner was one of the first one Dipper brought Bill into it. It was a tad bit overpriced which was why he never came back to the place.  Thankfully Bill was there, he was at the counter, and staring an empty tea cup.

“Bill?”  Dipper said gently.

“Pine Tree?” Bill smiled. “What’s up?”

 

“Um…nothing?” Dipper said gently as he looked at Pacifica for help.

 

She shrugged. “Hey you spent the most time with him.” She checked her phone. “Besides I need to go.”

Dipper made a face but said nothing else. Taking that as an okay, Pacifica took off, leaving Bill and Dipper to sort things out themselves.

“So…” Dipper said. “You ran away.”

 

Bill blinked.

 

“Um hey could pay for my tea?”  Bill awkwardly said. “I have no money.”

Dipper pulled out his wallet and looked at Bill with concern.

 

“Look I’m sorry you have to see that file but you can’t run away like that.” Dipper said with sternness. “We don’t know who’s after.” He placed the money onto a bill that next to Bill’s teacup. “I’ll make sure you don’t see any William Hirch’s files.”

 

Bill frowned and became very quiet.

“He was a weakling, a loser.”  He whispered to himself.

 

“Who? William?” Dipper asked regretting when he did. He shouldn’t press Bill but if he recalling details…. even simple vague ones he needed to know.

 

“I should go…” Bill said as he got up.

 

 

“Bill wait…. you really can’t run away   when you get uncomfortable.”  Dipper said as he tried to block Bill from leaving. “How would you like it if I did that?

Bill sat down and considered Dipper point but this was interrupted when he noticed one of the diner patrons. He was a large set bald man, wearing googles and a grey track suit. He was eating a plain salad with a glass of water and seemed very focused on his smartphone.

_No…not him…not **them.**_

Bill got up again and rushed towards the door.

“Bill!?” Dipper said, noticing Bill quiet attempt to leave. “We’re not done talking here.”

 

Bill stopped in his tracks and looked at Dipper with a whimper.

 

“But we can’t here…we’ve been compromised.”

 

Dipper narrowed his eyes and became very grave looking.

 

“What?”

 

Bill pointed to the man.

 

“He’s one of the men that captured me.”

 

\----

_Glass Shard Beach New Jersey_

He was now in a diner to break for dinner, the medical records proved useless. There were newborn babies that more information on them than Brendan’s medical records. Now he was waiting on the others to report to him their findings.   The place was the very definition of ‘sad’. The workers who had given up, the patrons who had given up. The décor hadn’t be updated since the mid-1980s. And the food was only    half decent. As Daniel waited for his meal, Agent Corduroy came  in with a very frustrated look on his face and took a seat across from him.

“Where’s  Agent Valentino?”

 

“Looking into something but I figured something out.”

 

“What?”  

 

 

“Brendan Lane does not exist.”

 

“What do you mean he doesn’t exist?”

 

“Everything he found about him is fake, his house looks like he never used it and its full of stock photos. His police file, and health records are empty, and the police almost seem like they never met him.”

 

“That makes no sense, we have a file on him…the freak had him on his body.” He sighed and became worried. If Brendan Lane wasn’t the reason why they were there then what was?

 

“You’re telling me. Robbie’s double checking with the local school but I don’t think he’ll find something.” She explained.  “What should we do?”

 

“Okay, call HQ and get a team over, obviously, someone wants us here. Make sure Bill is with the team.” He said in a grave tone. “Clearly something else is happening here, something big…”

She nodded in agreement  and removed herself from the table.

 

“I’ll get Robbie and get on it.”  Once she was gone, Daniel sighed tiredly and looked around the room. What was happening?  Why create a fake person to send the FBI to this shithole? His he thought about this, and looked around the room, he saw something familiar. Among the outdated décor were photos of past eating contests. One however stuck out the most for Agent Daniel McCarthy, it was from early 1960s and showed one teenager celebrating his victory at a pie eating contest with zealousness while a similar looking teenager in the background looking a bit peeved. What was striking about the second teenage was that he had six finger instead of five.

There was only one person he knew that six fingers.

Stanford Pines.


	6. Author's note

I can't do this anymore. Anytime I open up the word doc containing this fic I just want to delete it. Same with what you leave behind.

Maybe one day I will return to writing billdip. (Maybe try my hand at a space AU?) IDK.

In meanwhile if anyone wants to take their own version of this fanfic or needs to know my plans for it were.  
Just message me. ;/

good-bye.


End file.
